Existential Questions of Modern Man

 I often feel as though I am caught between the arrogance of the West and the ignorance of the East. The Westerner views the Easterner as uneducated and unable to keep up with the times, dismissing them as if they don't exist. Meanwhile, the Easterner sees the Westerner as irreligious and nothing more than a being of flesh. While both sides have their own justifications, most people fail to approach these matters from a humane perspective. If you don't place humans at the center of life, then humanity loses its meaning. In this case, you will see different things in each person you encounter. Humans are subjected to injustices due to circumstances beyond their control and traits they acquire later in life. Emotions and tears have no colors, races, languages, or religions—just like the human soul. But, alas, humans have begun to derive sadistic pleasure from oppressing one another.

As I think about this, I feel trapped in a difficult-to-describe state of rootlessness. The time we live in is filled with paradoxes, a period where opposites and profound corruption have reached their peak. The dark sides of human nature have risen to their highest level in this era. This situation deeply disturbs me, and the most troubling part is that most people aren't even aware of what they are doing. I see myself as part of these paradoxes, unable to detach from them, and I often find myself moving mindlessly within this framework. This makes me feel as though I am one of the madmen of this troubled age. I believe we are living in the most contradictory era in human history. Everything seems beyond reality, whatever you touch crumbles in your hands. It's as though we are experiencing a collective poisoning of the human soul.

What complicated sentences I've used; anyone reading this might think I am bearing all the sorrows of the world in my heart. Yet, I am not such a compassionate person; I often shape myself according to the behavior of those in front of me. Anyway, even small people say big words. We neither became great people, earned great wealth, nor embraced great ideologies. But let us speak grand words, so we may justify the space we occupy in life. Moreover, we have witnessed the so-called greatness of those who call themselves great. They adorn their rotten souls with polished corpses, looking down on people, offering long-winded advice, and spouting their well-worn manipulative clichés, thinking this is a skill. They don't hesitate to carry out their filthy desires while hiding behind the ideologies they claim to believe in. Oh, if only you knew how they deceive people by hiding behind those flashy ideologies.

Yet, in Socrates' philosophy of ethics, the essence of life is based on virtue; where are the virtuous ideologies or intellectual movements today? Those who attain power, in some way, trample on the rights of others. They become so cruel that they don't even want those who are different from them to survive, and while doing this, they act as if they are the most virtuous people in the world. Even though humanity may be living through the hell described in religions and mythologies, ignorance and arrogance don't allow them to see it.

In a universe where there is enough life for everyone, when you don't feel a sense of belonging to any place or thing, you also begin to feel disconnected from the time, space, and people you live with. This feeling eventually alienates you from society and leads you to disconnect. In fact, it makes you reject the dogmatic norms into which you were born, and to distance yourself from whatever is generally accepted by everyone. This emotional detachment sometimes drives you to the extremes. In short, a person starts to flee from everything, even from themselves. And thus, a transformation begins in the material and spiritual existence of a person. I think this is one of the biggest problems for people today. The world is becoming filled with dissatisfied and alienated souls.

Freedom of Thought and the Impact of Social Norms

Even though I strive to be original in my thoughts, my attempts to direct my will and mind independently are frequently influenced by external factors. Realizing that I am drifting into the thought channels of others leaves deep pain in my soul. This prevents a person from getting closer to truth and universality and obstructs objective evaluation. We generally approach issues with preconceived notions implanted in our minds. Most of the time, we evaluate them based on ideological or religious principles; if not those, we act according to our interests. This leads people to remain distant from and even hostile to what they do not understand.

The longer such interactions persist, the more destructive and impactful their harm becomes. Unwritten societal laws, morals, and spiritual values tend to mold individuals into certain frameworks. Straying from these frameworks can be extremely difficult for the individual. It would be unfair to say that all of these frameworks are entirely wrong, but I can still say that they harbor deeply poisoned and heavy cultural thoughts. I can observe countless examples of this both in the society I come from and in the one I live in.

Often, the more you try to escape, the more these societal pressures show up right in front of you, like racehorses at the finish line; this is the inescapable fate of humanity. Even if you were to pitch your tent on Mount Olympus, the next day someone would appear beside you, telling you that the color of your tent doesn't suit the mountain, the ground is too slippery, or that the place isn't suitable for you. You can never fully see the satisfaction of people; I suppose this stems from the infinite nature of the human soul.

Though societal pressures are strong, history offers countless examples of individuals who questioned and changed these norms. An individual can carve out their unique path without necessarily conforming to society.

Human fate is intertwined with humanity itself; it seems there's no escape from this. Either you'll find a middle ground and live together, which is becoming increasingly difficult, or you'll participate in a system built on mutual destruction, which is unfortunately the option in most parts of the world. Maybe there is a third way: the individual can strike a balance by staying true to their own values while fostering transformation within society. This is an option where a person can exist without alienating themselves while living in harmony with society.

A person inevitably tries to adapt at some point; this seems like a natural impulse or a necessity. But when you spend some time in solitude and reflection, you realize that the things you've grown accustomed to aren't as long-lasting as they seem. You feel the vivid reality of the emotions that have been disturbing you deep down. These feelings, which you've been trying to cover up, hit you with such force in the lonely streets of life that you begin to question your existence aimlessly.

Spiritual Transformation and the Abyss of Meaninglessness

Over time, I observe that people change, and I feel this with all my heart. This transformation can sometimes be positive, sometimes negative. There are moments when I realize that I no longer show any sign of emotion. I wasn’t like this before; or conversely, I used to get overwhelmed by trivial matters. When a severe transformation begins, you realize that you are no longer the "you" you used to be.

Along with this process of transformation, I noticed that while trying to adapt to society, I was experiencing a profound dissatisfaction. In this situation, I feel the need to ask myself these questions: What should an ideal world be like? What are the fundamental characteristics of ideal societies? Do any societies exist today that could be called ideal? As these questions occupy my mind, I am reminded of the inadequacy of my body and thoughts; it reminds me that I need to conform to the norms society has deemed appropriate for me and think the way they want me to think.

I guess no one escapes the conflict between the soul and the body. Most of the time, what we imagine and what we live are at odds with each other. Despite this, to cling to life, people often choose to live according to their bodily desires, pushing their souls to the background. When a person’s dark sides find the right ground, that’s when they come out in all their brutality. From this point on, the balance shifts; just as in nature. Nature's rule is simple: kill to live. Animals must kill the weak without mercy to survive. While we accept this as a part of nature, for humans, the philosophy of "kill to live" signals a terrifying cycle, and this cycle is extremely frightening.

It feels like my thoughts are constantly wandering on the extremes. I realize that no ideology or belief satisfies me. My efforts to conform to societal norms eventually lead me into an intellectual void. No ideology or idea satisfies my soul anymore. An endless pit opens up in the depths of my soul; the ideas that once satisfied me have lost their meaning. I suppose this distressing condition applies to some people today as well.

Sometimes, I look at what makes others happy and think, I wish I could distract myself with such things too. But right after that thought, a slight feeling of disgust sets in; like the unpleasant urge to vomit after eating spoiled food. This brings to mind the words of Franz Kafka: "Sometimes a person gets lost in their own inner world and finds nothing that satisfies them. This is an expression of the helplessness of modern man." Yes, maybe we didn’t experience great wars, famines, plagues, or depressions, but we were born into a world of dissatisfaction. Everything we have quickly loses its meaning, and everything becomes meaningless all at once. I hope we witness more meaningful lives, and that they give us hope as well.